I Have Anxiety Disorder

Said, "I struggle with anxiety," tossed it in the air.

And the response hit different, kind of cut me to the bone,

"Don't claim that!" they declared, like it's a seed I'd sown,

I'm not claiming anything, this just how my spirit goes,

This isn't a trend, a phase, or something for the shows,

From a young age, doctor's office, words I couldn't comprehend,

"Anxiety disorder," felt like my world would end,

My mind started running wild, like something was wrong with me,

A broken piece of wiring, for everyone to see,

But time brought clarity, slowly, truly, bit by bit,

Realized it's just me, the way my consciousness is knit.

They said, "Don't claim it," but this isn't a choice I made,

It's the rhythm in my mind, a silent serenade,

Of worry, fear, and doubt, a part of my design,

I have anxiety disorder, it's undeniably mine,

Not claiming it, I'm just saying this is how it really is,

A constant companion, through struggles and through bliss.

Some nights were dark, the panic tried to swallow me whole,

Heart in my throat, breath gone, losing all control,

Had some horrible moments, felt completely lost at sea,

But on my knees I prayed, "God, please just guide me.",

And every single time, a light would pierce the haze,

His hand would reach for mine, through those terrifying days,

See, your struggle isn't my struggle, my path isn't yours to trace,

Anxiety's a language, spoken at a different pace,

The way I learn to navigate, the battles that I fight,

Is unique to my spirit, burning through the darkest night.

Used to beg for it to vanish, wished it'd disappear and flee,

But it stayed right by my side, a constant company,

Now I wonder if there's purpose, a lesson in its hold,

A story of resilience, waiting to unfold,

Because it's not like I'm the only one, in this battle I perceive,

But my way of dealing with it, is how I live, how I believe.

So when they tell me, "Don't claim it," with that ignorant facade,

I'm not claiming anything,  this is just the hand I've been dealt, flaws and all, by God,

It's a part of who I am, intertwined with my being,

I have anxiety disorder, and I'm still seeing, still breathing, still achieving.