This Is Who I Am

I was very young when the lessons started sinking in,

Not taught in a classroom, never forced against my will,

My grandmama’s hands, the true discipline,

Folding clothes, folding hands, sitting perfectly still,

She didn’t preach from a pulpit, she lived the command,

Bible on the nightstand, smudged pages, worn leather band,

Mom showed me grace, how to carry the weight,

It was action over sermons,

They planted the seed, but never chained me to the tree,

They just showed me the light and then let me breathe free,

I took the foundation, the wisdom they imparted,

But the real structure began the moment I departed,

To find my own voice, my own dialogue to start,

A connection written on the chambers of my heart.

You can talk doctrine, you can quote the ink,

But I got proof firsthand an undeniable link,

It’s not just what I read, it’s what I saw with my eye,

There’s a power that moves when you cry out to the sky,

I don't need your validation, I don't need the nod,

I based my faith on my personal witness of God,

I can’t force you to agree, I just stand where I am,

This is my testimony, this is who I am.

I’ve had those sleepless nights, felt the blanket of doubt,

Pacing the floor, praying until the morning light broke out,

Cried so hard the pillow felt heavy with confession,

Battling the dark, seeking a supernatural possession,

Of peace, of relief, of a word just to hold onto,

There were days I felt prayer was the only thing I could do,

In constant conversation, through the mundane and the mess,

I’m walking the street, sending up my distress,

And I’ve witnessed the reply, watched the Red Sea divide,

Seen the answered prayer, nowhere left to run and hide,

I got enough faith for the moment, steady on the floor,

But every morning I wake up still praying for more,

I believe, but I ask for the increase,

Help me turn the doubt into undeniable peace.

I fear nothing living, I fear nothing that’s dead,

The only thing that chills me is the word that you said,

The Most High, the Creator, 

Everything else is just noise, an earthly error,

I strive to shed the fear of the coffin and the grave,

Because I feel what I believe, and I know I’ve been saved,

But my conviction is my own, I won't force-feed the crowd,

I respect the silence, I respect speaking loud,

I won’t degrade your path, won't disrespect your truth,

I’m not trying to convince you of the things I conclude,

The evidence is mine, the relationship is personal,

The choice is yours, that’s completely understandable.

I believe what I see,

I believe what I felt, the prayers are receipts,

I just walk my path, that’s the truest path,

This is my identity...

This is who I am.